The other day I ran into a man who was selling birds/cats and hot dogs. This is a true story. I thought to myself, I understand the hot dogs…but the birds and cats I didn’t get. The following is our conversation:
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) Fresh hot dogs! Or if you like, I have cats…cute little cats and some birds for sale as well.
Me: Hello. I’d like one hot dog please.
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) Ok…one hot of the dog coming up young man.
Me: Wow, you never see a vendor selling birds and cats these days.
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) No. I am very special. One of a kind.
Me: Wow. I guess that’s how you get people to remember you, huh?
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) What?
Me: I was just saying, I bet that’s how people remember where this hot dog stand is…you can’t forget something like that…it’s unique…kind of, one of a…
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) Shut Up!
Me: Excuse me?
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) You heard me you little preppy son of the bitch…you with your cars and houses and things like that. You just shut up and pay me for hot dog.
Me: Ok. How much do I owe you.
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) 20 dollars.
Me: What? I’m not paying that much for a hot dog.
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) But, I will throw in a cat!
Me: I don’t want a cat.
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) Ok, how about a bird and a cat?
Me: No thank you. Just the hot dog please.
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) Fine you little preppy son of the bitch. Here is your hot dog.
Me: Thank you.
Birds/Cats/Hot Dog Vendor: (Thick Middle Eastern Accent) Shut up!
The Brid/Cat/Hot Dog vendor then abruptly turned and briskly walked away. I threw away the hot dog.
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