Monday, May 18, 2009

10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED WAITING TABLES


10 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED WAITING TABLES
by
TILLER WILLS

1 Fat Women should not wear tight clothing.

2 Strangers do not want to know about your surgery.

3 Dog people and cat people are both right.

4 Black people love White Zinfandel.

5 Jr. Executives have not earned the rights to be pricks yet.

6 Happy hour is a lie. If you are drunk at 4:00, how happy are you really?

7 If you are going to bring a hooker to dinner, at least don’t let her order whatever she wants.

8 Oddly enough, most people’s favorite food end up being whatever their friend ordered.

9 Not everyone under twenty years old will make it as a rapper.

10 If you sit down at a restaurant five minutes before closing, understand that no one appreciates that you came.
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2 comments:

Vincetastic said...

Hey Tiller, this top ten list is hilarious. A lot of these things I have learned without having to wait tables, but what I did learn from being a waiter is that I rather have a different job thatn having to deal with customers. You can post this to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/ and link back to your site. We are trying to create a directory for top ten lists where people can find your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tiller. You suck!